Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Orangelover: #2

fatima : hi Mr. Dark
guerrillakingx: hello
guerrillakingx: hello
guerrillakingx: I was away
fatima : hello
fatima : i guessed
guerrillakingx: how are you?
fatima : fine
fatima : and u?
guerrillakingx: excellent
fatima : why have u selected Hawaii for life?
guerrillakingx: I don't know why...
guerrillakingx: Never thought I'd be here
fatima : how about the poeple?
fatima : of Hawaii?
guerrillakingx: I honestly think that the people of Hawai'i are the most generous, kind, loving people I have ever met
guerrillakingx: generally speaking
fatima : they r native american?
guerrillakingx: Hawai'ian...
guerrillakingx: Polynesian
guerrillakingx: The original people may have come from Samoa...
guerrillakingx: now, japanese, chinese, brazillian, portugese, korean, pacific islanders, americans
guerrillakingx: and then some
fatima : i see
fatima : the mixture of many races
guerrillakingx: ya
guerrillakingx: This place is called the most remote place on the planet
guerrillakingx: 3000 miles from anywhere
fatima : is it silent?
guerrillakingx: Well, Honolulu is a lage metropolitan city
guerrillakingx: but it is quiet otherwise
guerrillakingx: I live in the back of a valley, it is quiet here, save jungle noises
fatima : ohhhhhhhhhhh
fatima : lucky u
fatima : lucky u
guerrillakingx: I lived 10 years in LA, so this is a dream compared
guerrillakingx: eating lunch again?
fatima : i'm ready for lunch
fatima : LA is a nice state
guerrillakingx: city
guerrillakingx: in California
fatima : yessssssssss
fatima : city
guerrillakingx: It is like no other
fatima : LA is noisy?
guerrillakingx: so noisy
fatima : like Tehran, my city
guerrillakingx: LA police department has one of the largest air forces in the world
guerrillakingx: the sky is full of helicoptors
fatima : oh
fatima : i hate noises
guerrillakingx: seven million people
guerrillakingx: 20 million in the LA basin
fatima : my city is noisy too
fatima : i love the voice of nature: birds..water..
guerrillakingx: you were born there?
fatima : yes
guerrillakingx: Can I ask your age?
fatima : 44
guerrillakingx: do you like your work?
fatima : it was exciting for me before, but now, it's not so
guerrillakingx: what do you want to do now?
fatima : my dream is living in a silent place without bad noises, near river, trees and animals
fatima : but, it's only a dream. no hope for reaching it
guerrillakingx: why no hope?
guerrillakingx: anything is possible if you allow it to be
guerrillakingx: I speak from experience
guerrillakingx: My life is Impossible according to many
guerrillakingx: But I wake up in it every day
fatima : how is it impossible? incredible?
guerrillakingx: I have always been poor, with bad credit, no university degree, no practical skills as far as economics and career go...
fatima : then?
guerrillakingx: and yet I have a nursury, like my work, still do my art, answer to no one: no boss, no editor...
guerrillakingx: I chose not to deny the possibility
fatima : nursury of kids?
guerrillakingx: thoughts can be very powerful
guerrillakingx: no,
guerrillakingx: plants
guerrillakingx: trees
fatima : ah
guerrillakingx: so, you know where you would like to be...
guerrillakingx: but what would you like to do?
fatima : now, i have no plan
guerrillakingx: ah
guerrillakingx: good start
fatima : ??
guerrillakingx: not talking about a plan...
guerrillakingx: talking about your desire
fatima : what do u think?
guerrillakingx: your ideal way of being
guerrillakingx: it is not enough to know what you don't want
guerrillakingx: you have to know what you do want
guerrillakingx: truly
guerrillakingx: then you can recognise it when it presents itself
guerrillakingx: because it will
guerrillakingx: the opportunity to realize your dreams may be right in front of you
guerrillakingx: how can you see it if you think it is impossible?
fatima : u know, ur condition is different
guerrillakingx: yes
guerrillakingx: but equal
guerrillakingx: human desire knows no bounds
fatima : i cannot explain for u
guerrillakingx: except fear
fatima : fear is so extended
guerrillakingx: You asked me how I came to Hawai'i...
fatima : yes
guerrillakingx: ten years ago I started writing on a regular basis
guerrillakingx: I was unemployed, in debt, etc.
guerrillakingx: I decided to write about my idea of an ideal life
guerrillakingx: and I did
fatima : then?
guerrillakingx: then, ten years ago, with no conscious effort to realize this dream, it manifested
guerrillakingx: not exactly, but very close
fatima : i see
guerrillakingx: knowing what you want is very powerful in itself
guerrillakingx: rectifying what you want with what you need is the art
fatima : what we want is what we need
guerrillakingx: well, I want to have sex with many women all the time
guerrillakingx: but I doubt that is what I need
fatima : why doubt?
guerrillakingx: touche
guerrillakingx: I know that is not what I need
guerrillakingx: I have had a few relationships, they are challenging enough one on one
fatima : could u please explain more?
guerrillakingx: about?
fatima : ur last statement
guerrillakingx: getting along with people is easier to say than do
guerrillakingx: respecting differences a challenge in close quarters
guerrillakingx: I want independance, and solitude, and peace...
guerrillakingx: yet I want companionship and sex and to be challenged
guerrillakingx: I am better about knowing what limits to set formyself
fatima : i'm understanding
guerrillakingx: balance
guerrillakingx: my needs are simple
guerrillakingx: my wants are less than before
guerrillakingx: I want to eat, and to sleep out of the rain, and to have community
guerrillakingx: I no longer desire big houses and fancy cars, and fame and fortune
guerrillakingx: so I am happier with what I have
guerrillakingx: I sacrificed winning the material game for not having to contend in it
fatima : i'm understanding u
guerrillakingx: the happiest people I know live the most simply
guerrillakingx: the most misserable people I know have the most things to keep up
fatima : wait a min...
guerrillakingx: ya
fatima : what we have confine us
guerrillakingx: we become slavesto our desires if they are more about wants than needs
guerrillakingx: ya
fatima : do u want to know what's my desire?
guerrillakingx: yes
guerrillakingx: ...please
fatima : to have a simple life, simple relationship with others, a simple house...
fatima : no many devices in there
guerrillakingx: This is impossible?
fatima : in cities, yes
fatima : in cities
fatima : in a big society, yes
guerrillakingx: you cannot leave?
guerrillakingx: ?
fatima : no
guerrillakingx: why?
fatima : i'm a alone woman. living in such places is dangerous for me. at least in my society
guerrillakingx: cities were not designed for happyness
guerrillakingx: convienience
fatima : yessssssssssss
guerrillakingx: so city people sacrifice happyness for convienience
guerrillakingx: you cannot leave your society?
guerrillakingx: To be true to yourself is the best thing one can do for the community they are in
fatima : u know, what's important for any person is money for life. i cannot live in other countries without money. how can i gain money as a foriegner in another country easily?
guerrillakingx: People told me that I would not make it here in Hawai'i...
guerrillakingx: too expensive
guerrillakingx: I knew no one
guerrillakingx: came with the mother of my daughter, five months pregnant...
guerrillakingx: I had little money
guerrillakingx: much determination
guerrillakingx: I threw myself in
guerrillakingx: learned to swim
guerrillakingx: had no choice
guerrillakingx: would rather die by my own choices than by other forces
guerrillakingx: That is how I live
guerrillakingx: when I left LA I left everything I had to my friends and put the rest on the curb
guerrillakingx: easier to recieve the blessings of life when hands are empty
guerrillakingx: it is not logical
guerrillakingx: or even very reasonable
guerrillakingx: but possible
guerrillakingx: by the way, your english is very good
fatima : really? thanks
fatima : i think life would be so enjoyable when we gain many things from our empty hands
fatima : and the life is boring when we have many things and no obligation for doing the life better
fatima : making the life better
guerrillakingx: yes
guerrillakingx: I agree
guerrillakingx: do you have religion?
fatima : i'm muslim
guerrillakingx: born into it?
fatima : yes
guerrillakingx: do you find strength and help in your creator?
fatima : yes
guerrillakingx: then you can trust that if you choose to find a place and occupation to make you happy, the creator will assist?
guerrillakingx: do you think your creator wants for you the life you have over the life that nourishes your being?
fatima : u mean the other life(world)?
guerrillakingx: what other?
fatima : (because i have to go to another desk, maybe i response u by delay)
fatima : wait a sec
guerrillakingx: ok
fatima : i couldnt understand ur last statement
guerrillakingx: I was born into christianity, but did not agree with the religious organization
guerrillakingx: chose instead to trust that which inspired the religion
guerrillakingx: cut out the people who interpret "god" in order to experience "god."
guerrillakingx: much better for me
guerrillakingx: but that is me
fatima : it's choice of u as a human being
guerrillakingx: yes
fatima : i think free poeple in religion are luckier than religious poeple in choosing a right way
fatima : because they can decide for themselves
fatima : other people cannot decide easily
guerrillakingx: luckier?
fatima : sorry......??
fatima : is it mistake?
guerrillakingx: I feel that religions have a function...
guerrillakingx: like training wheels on a bike
fatima : thank u if u correct me
guerrillakingx: Does not take luck to take them off
guerrillakingx: Luck involves no choice
guerrillakingx: fortunate may be better word
guerrillakingx: ...and we make our fortune with the decisions we make
fatima : my idea is that: "religous helps human being in their life. but confining mind in a rigid space is bad."
guerrillakingx: ya
guerrillakingx: sometimes boundarys are helpful
guerrillakingx: as long as we can live healty within them
fatima : "religoun is soft by its nature. we(followers) make it hard and uneasy"
fatima : human being tend to make every thing harder and harder
guerrillakingx: 12:33am here...
fatima : tradition, religion, ....
fatima : ohhhhh
guerrillakingx: no
fatima : 1:03 pm here
guerrillakingx: go on
fatima : sleep?
guerrillakingx: soon
guerrillakingx: please continue
fatima : u can sleep, we'll continue later
guerrillakingx: ok
guerrillakingx: A pleasure talking
fatima : yes
guerrillakingx: wish you the best
fatima : thanks. u too
fatima : u r alone or with ur family?
guerrillakingx: alone
fatima : freeeeeeeeeee
guerrillakingx: your native language?
guerrillakingx: pharcy?
fatima : farsi
guerrillakingx: ya
guerrillakingx: how do you say good by in farci?
fatima : khoob
guerrillakingx: yes
fatima : other mean: khosh
guerrillakingx: khoob, then
guerrillakingx: and aloha
fatima : aloha
fatima : shab khoosh=good night
guerrillakingx: yes
guerrillakingx: shab khoosh


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